I'd rather be here than on land
by Riddlemeister
Summary: Finn just doesn't get how the first girl he loved and the girl that was always beyond his reach ended up together. Faberry through the eyes of Finn. And some Finn lovin'


It's beyond him, really. He knows he's not the smartest crayola in the tool shed, but this is something that completely baffles him. Even more than Kurt's fashion suggestions every time he steps out in flannel (which, honestly, is almost every other day).

No, Finn just doesn't get how it all happened.

* * *

><p>It all starts with a party. He comes alone, twenty-four pack in tow, and goes straight to the backyard where he knows the door will be unlocked. The party is hopping and the music is so loud, he thinks Puck must have bribed his neighbors or something because there aren't any cops checking in on them because of noise complaints.<p>

"Dude, what took you so long?" Puck yells as he makes his way through the sea of people in the kitchen.

"Sorry man," Finn responds, putting the twenty four pack next to the cooler. "Burt needed my help with something my mom wanted him to do."

He grabs a cold Heineken from the fridge and grabs the bottle opener magnet off of the fridge.

"Don't sweat it," Puck responds with a clap on his back, pulling him closer. "I invited the entire gymnastics team tonight, so you're welcome."

Finn laughs.

"Thanks, I guess?"

"I do what I can," Puck lets out, motioning to himself. "Oh, I got that fruity crap that your brother likes. It's somewhere in there."

"That's awesome," Finn says as he opens the fridge door again to get a bottle for Kurt. And another one for Blaine.

"Where are they?"

"Downstairs, watching Mike and Artie play some CoD," Puck responds with a laugh.

"Dude, you serious?" Finn tells him with a disbelieving tone.

"Yeah, he must be used to it from all your sucky ass playing."

Finn just shakes his head and nods to the stairs.

"I'm gonna go say hi to everyone downstairs then," He mumbles.

"Hey," Puck calls out from behind him.

"Just forget about her."

Finn stops for a second.

"Which one?"

Puck makes a face and tilts his head.

"Both?"

Finn laughs.

* * *

><p>It takes him ten minutes of watching Mike absolutely destroy Artie in CoD to realize that he hasn't seen Rachel yet. He turns to Kurt, who keeps on covering his eyes every time there's blood and stuff flying all over the place.<p>

"Dude, where's Rachel? Puck DID invite her right?"

Kurt cracks a gap between his fingers to look at him.

"She's here, I saw her earlier."

"Oh, cool," Finn responds nonchalantly, looking around the room. He gets up a second later.

"I'm getting another beer, anyone want anything?" He announces and gets a jumbled response. He scratches his head.

"Was that a no?"

Another jumble of responses from the crowd. He shrugs and steps over Tina and Mercedes on the floor.

* * *

><p>His eyes keep wandering as he makes his way to the fridge. She's nowhere to be found and Finn frowns to himself. So much for running into her and maybe attempting to reconnect again.<p>

He doesn't realize it, but suddenly he's surrounded by all these giggling girls and he doesn't even know what they're saying. He nods, he laughs, he takes a drink of his beer and he looks around the room.

He excuses himself, saying something about forgetting his phone in his car and squeezes his way out of the circle. It's a brilliant excuse, because he realizes that he did actually forget his phone in his car.

* * *

><p>Finn unlocks the door to his truck and fishes his phone out of the cup holder. And that's when he finally sees her.<p>

It's really dark and he barely makes out the figure sitting up on the roof, probably having climbed out of Puck's bedroom window. He just stares—mesmerized, really—and wishes that he had one of those things FBI agents use to listen in on conversations. There's a subtle movement, and that's when he realizes that there are two girls sitting on the roof. Wait a second…

A car passes and he ducks behind nothing, pretending to be busy with his phone.

"What are they…" Finn trails off, weird images of a cat fight on a roof coming to his mind. It's kind of cold and slippery and both of them can easily slip and fall.

But he doesn't move. And when Quinn leans in and Rachel's hand somehow ends up tangled in blonde hair, he can do nothing but stand there.

* * *

><p>They must have been drunk, Finn concludes. He's been running for half an hour now, going around his neighborhood and making his way through downtown Lima. He's been stuck on that image for days, trying to understand what the heck that was that he saw.<p>

_"I was unafraid, I was a boy, I was a tender age."_

What does that even mean? He thinks to himself as he remembers Rachel's status update. Knowing Rachel, it's probably a song lyric or something. Which totally doesn't make sense. She's not a boy for one, and she's like seventeen or something.

Quinn isn't saying anything. But that's not really surprising.

And, he doesn't know how he feels—Mad? Confused? Lied to?

Well, he isn't really dating either of them. But still.

So he just decides on drunk girls being all Katy Perry and stuff. They don't even like hanging out. Everyone and their mom knows that Quinn and Rachel hate each other.

He's thinking so hard that he doesn't realize that he's in a different neighborhood until he gets hit by some automated sprinklers.

"Oh, God!" He lets out, jumping away from the sprinkler and wiping his face. It's like four in the morning. Who waters their lawn this early in the morning?

He rounds a corner and sees a park at the other side of an elementary school parking lot. Figuring that there should be a water fountain over there or something, Finn almost crosses the street.

Not again.

He ducks behind a bush the moment he notices Rachel and Quinn sitting on the picnic table. They have mugs next to them and they look like they're having a really deep conversation. He _really _wishes he had one of those FBI eavesdropping things.

* * *

><p>"Dude, what are you talking about?" Puck asks him as he plops his lunch down on the table. Finn watches him sit down, stealing a fry from the tray of food that is in front of him.<p>

"What?"

"Your text," Puck explains, biting into his burger. "What do you mean weird?"

"I mean, like," Finn starts, putting his sloppy joe down and screwing his face to think. "Haven't you noticed anything different about Rachel? Or Quinn?"

Puck stops chewing and for a second, Finn almost believes that he's not the only one.

"Nah."

Seriously, is he the only one with eyes?

"Dude," Finn starts when Puck continues devouring his burger. "They're spending all their time together. And they're like, I don't know, looking at each other when no one's looking. And like, Rachel's statuses are all hinting at things or something."

"Finn," Puck says to him with a serious look on his face, "I know this sucks man. Rachel's my girl and all, baby momma's my other girl, and I love them to pieces, but you're my bro. And I'm not kidding around when I say that you have to get over this."

Finn just looks at him.

"Finn, it's our senior year," Puck continues, waving his burger around. "Anyone with eyes and ears can tell you that Rachel Berry's gonna make it out of here. She's going to be on the first train to New York and Broadway and the only time people here are gonna see her again is on screens and magazines and stuff. And you and I both know that Quinn has more brains than half this town combined. Her family might be ridiculous and elitist and all the other awful extremes with –ist that I can think of…"

Puck pauses and takes a drink.

"Don't tell her I said this, but she is more than capable of achieving anything if she wanted to. And she's going to get as far away as humanly possible from this place."

"I don't get it. Why are people scrambling to get out of Lima?" Finn asks no one in particular, stealing another fry from Puck.

"And that, my friend, is why it won't work between you and either one of those girls."

"What do you mean?"

"Because, Lima's always been good to you. And this is where your family is. Lima's home and I know that you're in no hurry to leave Lima."

Finn nods slowly, processing what Puck just told him. He really does have no intentions of leaving Lima. He just doesn't get it. He's probably going to go to Ohio State and then come back. He can take over Burt's garage. Or be a coach at McKinley or the community college. What's so bad about staying in this town?

"I guess you're right," He finally mutters after a while. It makes sense, but it still really, really sucks.

* * *

><p>Finn leaves it alone for the better part of the year. He focuses on several things: football, basketball, recruiters, glee, the garage and his application to OSU and several other local schools. Writing essays is really hard. The only reason he passed English the past three years is because Quinn helped him.<p>

He throws his pen down, frustrated with the application in front of him. Calling it a day, he packs up and makes his way out of the building. It's getting really late and he figures that he's probably the only person in the school now.

College applications are almost due. And he really is in trouble with getting everything together.

He's almost out of the building when he passes by the auditorium, the back door is open and he hears piano keys so he stops.

It's Rachel.

He still has no clue what's going on between them, and it's not like they've made any grand announcements on Facebook or something like that about their relationship. But no one seems to notice the changes that he is so keenly aware of.

Like Quinn smiling more. Or Rachel giving other people more chances at solos.

Really, how is it that he's the only one who sees these things?

He hears another note and his attention goes back to Rachel on the piano.

Finn doesn't know much about love, but he honestly loved this girl. There was even a time when he considered following her to New York while she pursued her dreams. But Puck is right. He has no place in that future. And he has his own to worry about.

That doesn't change the fact that he loves this girl.

He's just about to keep moving when Rachel gets up and pushes the piano chair back. She doesn't leave though.

She turns around and just stares out at the empty auditorium. She's so caught up in whatever it is that she's thinking that she doesn't notice Quinn come up from behind her. Neither does Finn, for that matter.

"Hey," Quinn says quietly.

"Hey, yourself," Rachel responds, turning to look at Quinn.

Finn knows he should really leave. Because it's like, none of his business and it kinda hurts to see this.

But he doesn't.

"You looked pretty lost in your thoughts there," He hears Quinn's voice say. "Blinding yourself with the bright lights and imagining your epic solo for Nationals?"

"Har har," Rachel bites back with a small smile playing on her face.

"I'll have you know that there won't be an epic solo for Nationals. And I prefer the term basking in bright lights, thank you very much."

Quinn rolls her eyes and laughs.

"Just a little nostalgic," Rachel muses with a smile. "And saying goodbye."

"Goodbye, huh?"

"Yep," Rachel nods. "I know we have one more performance, but…"

She trails off and Finn leans in a little closer, worried that he won't hear.

"I wanted to stand here like this, void of everything and in complete silence."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

After a beat of silence, Rachel speaks up.

"Remember the last time we were here alone?"

Finn feels his face color. Maybe this conversation is taking a turn for the extremely private and intimate.

Quinn lets out a laugh.

"When you asked me if Finn and I were back together?" Quinn asks incredulously, stepping closer to Rachel.

Wait, what?

"When you told me that I didn't belong here," Rachel corrects her while crossing her arms.

"Oh."

"You told me that you would become a real estate agent, Finn would take over Mr. Hummel's garage, and then you two would get married and have a family."

"Yeah, I…" Quinn starts but Rachel stops her by placing a finger on her lips.

"And all I did was cry and accuse you of stealing Finn."

Finn is a little taken aback. He had no clue this ever happened. And he'd be lying if he said he never saw that exact same future with Quinn.

"I was a little harsh," Quinn reasons, taking Rachel's hand into her own.

"No," Rachel shakes her head. "I was being quite idiotic."

Quinn makes a face, tilting her head and causing Rachel to laugh.

"But so were you."

Quinn doesn't say anything back.

"Me, because I didn't realize what you were doing. Settling and forcing me to get out of Lima and go after my dreams because you couldn't."

A beat passes and Rachel tiptoes to give Quinn a kiss. Finn looks away, a little embarrassed for stepping into this private moment.

"And you because you thought you couldn't," Rachel finishes.

"Because I honestly thought I couldn't," Quinn responds, resting her forehead on Rachel's.

Finn walks away from the door quietly and makes his way out of the building. When Kurt asks him what's wrong as he eats his mac and cheese quietly a couple hours later, he mumbles nothing and plays around with his food some more.

* * *

><p>Throwing a hacky sack up in the air while he lies flat on his bed, Finn thinks back to what he witnessed.<p>

He's a little clueless sometimes but who can blame him. He's seen that picture in his head—Quinn and their two kids, going to soccer games and recitals, having dinner around the kitchen table, throwing Fourth of July barbeques.

Except he wants that. Maybe not with Quinn. But he wants that quiet life here in Lima.

And it never crossed his mind that Quinn doesn't.

* * *

><p>They're all in New York for Nationals and everyone's a little nutty.<p>

Finn and Puck go out with the boys to hunt down some authentic New York hot dogs. Finn's not gonna say no to food, after all.

The night comes and he's out in the hallway getting ice from the ice machine. He turns a little too quickly and literally knocks over Quinn Fabray.

"Crap," He says, hurriedly putting the ice down and helping the girl up. "Man, I am so sorry."

"I'm fine," Quinn responds as she gets up.

Finn laughs, suddenly realizing that this is the first time that they are together alone since he dumped her. And the last time they were in New York, his elaborate plan to get Rachel back only ended with him embarrassing himself and them losing.

"So," Finn starts out. "I heard all you girls went on a cultural tour or something."

"Yep," Quinn starts. "We saw some museums and theaters. Then headed over to NYU and Columbia University."

"Columbia? I thought that was a country," Finn asks sincerely, scratching his head a little.

"That would be the Republic of Colombia," Quinn says. "It's a university here in New York."

"Oh."

Well that doesn't make him look like an idiot at all.

"That's awesome," He mumbles to make up for his earlier flub. "I haven't really been looking into colleges out of Ohio. I'm just gonna, you know, go to OSU or something and be that loser who never left Lima."

He laughs a little to make light of the situation. Quinn gives him a small smile.

"Why would that make you a loser? You've got everyone you love and everyone who loves you there. And you're happy," She tells him quietly.

Finn doesn't say anything. Quinn is the one secretly scrambling to get out of Lima after all.

"You already have what most people spend their lives chasing after, Finn."

This is quite possibly the nicest conversation with Quinn he's ever had in his life.

"Thanks," He says with a small smile.

"Dude! Hurry up," Puck shouts from down the hallway. "Where's the ice?"

"I'll be there in a sec!" Finn yells before picking up the bucket of ice.

"I gotta run, Puckerman over there's getting too demanding."

Quinn actually laughs.

* * *

><p>It's the first day of April and Finn walks into the empty school for an early morning work-out. He hears an ear shattering squeal from the choir room as he passes by it. There's only one person who hangs out in the choir room hours before actual school starts.<p>

"I knew it! I knew it!" Rachel yelled over and over again, clutching a piece of paper and hugging Quinn tightly.

"Rach, you're going to wake up the entire town," Quinn tells her while laughing into Rachel's hair.

"As if that's deterred me before," Rachel pulls back. "You got into Columbia! I'll announce it to the whole school if I have to."

"You wouldn't," Quinn says with narrowed eyes.

There's a devilish grin on Rachel's face and she escapes from Quinn's arms, waving the letter like a crazy person.

"Attention, student population of William McKinley High School! Quinn Fabra—" Rachel doesn't quite finish her sentence or make it out of the room. Quinn grabs her in time and pulls her into a hug from behind.

"You're crazy," Quinn gasps between deep breaths before laughing. "And you do realize that there's nobody else in the building this early, right?"

"Oh," Rachel mumbles. "I may or may not have forgotten that minor detail."

* * *

><p>"Hey," Finn calls out when he sees Quinn studying in the cafeteria. Quinn looks up a little surprised.<p>

"Hi."

"I, uh," Finn starts as he hold his empty lunch tray. Quinn looks at him expectantly.

"Congratulations," He finally spits out, managing a small smile. Quinn opens her mouth and he guesses she's probably going to ask him for what so he beats her to it.

"For getting into Columbia," He finishes with a little smirk.

Quinn looks a little dumbfounded.

"…thank you," She says after a while, looking at him with a strange facial expression. "Congratulations to you too. For OSU, I mean."

Finn laughs.

"Thanks," He tells her, subconsciously rubbing the back of his neck. "It's gonna be a blast. Puck decided he's gonna wear OSU gear until we graduate."

"I noticed."

Finn laughs again and the sound of the bell for the half period ringing rounds his laughter off.

"Well, I gotta go," He says while motioning to the door. Quinn nods.

"See you at glee."

"Bye."

Finn takes two steps before turning right back and sitting down to face Quinn, who looks at him with a questioning look.

"Yes?"

He swallows hard because this has been bothering him, but he'll never ever really get a moment like this again so…

"Promise me that you'll always make her smile like that," He says with all seriousness, looking at Quinn straight in the eye. Quinn looks at him, and somehow he knows that they both know whose smile it is that they're talking about.

"I promise," Quinn finally says a minute later, not once blinking.

Finn nods, clearing his throat and picking up his tray.

"Thanks," He mumbles, picking his tray up and making his way to the door.

* * *

><p>It ends at a party.<p>

Well, not end. But it comes to a full circle, in a way.

Kurt throws a little party after a buyer from one of those big department stores buys a full order of some of his personal designs showcased in a fashion show for upcoming designers. It's been a rough several years and now that things are finally looking up for Kurt, Finn couldn't be any happier for his brother.

Finn is in the middle of chatting with one of Kurt's friends about New York never ceasing to amaze him when the door opens. Rachel walks in, hand in hand with Quinn, laughing about something the other girl said. He watches Quinn take Rachel's coat and sees Kurt come up to the pair. That's when it hits him that he hasn't seen either girl in seven years.

Kurt seems to be on the same page because he suddenly looks at Finn, smiling and waving. Rachel and Quinn follow his gaze and he gives them a small hand wave and a smile, telling Kurt's friend that he's gonna go over and say hi to some old friends.

* * *

><p>"I saw your face on a poster," Finn says excitedly as Rachel laughs a little.<p>

"Oh god, I hope it was the one with my good side," Rachel tells him. "Quinn does this annoying thing where she sends me a picture or calls me every time she sees it."

Finn shakes his head.

"She's just proud of you," He lets out, looking at the blonde who was getting drinks for her and Rachel.

"If there's anyone we should all be proud of, that would be her," Rachel says with a small smile on her face. "She's going to be Dr. Fabray in a couple of months."

"Kurt told me. Man, that's awesome."

"Don't call her that though. She freaks out," Rachel tells him as she looks through the crowd to watch Quinn with a soft look on her face.

"Hey Rachel," Finn starts hesitantly.

"Hmm?"

"I'm proud of you, you deserve all of this," He continues slowly.

"Thank you, Finn," She says sincerely.

"And," Finn pauses, "Thanks, for showing Quinn that she can be happy too. And that she didn't have to be a real estate agent."

Rachel looks a little surprised for a second and then the look on her face softens.

"She just needed some nudging," Rachel laughs.

"You mean, shoving?" Finn jokes.

"Who are we shoving this time?" Quinn asks as she approaches them, smiling and holding two drinks.

"Oh, you know," Finn starts with a smirk. "That darn Dr. Frabray."

* * *

><p>It really is beyond him. How the first girl he ever loved and the girl that was just always beyond his reach—girls he thought hated each other—ended up together.<p>

When he gets back to Lima and Puck picks him up from the airport, he'll tell him all about Rachel looking just as pretty as she does on the posters that they've seen online. And he'll tell him that Dr. Fabray is smiling and laughing and letting her hair down. And he'll tell them how ridiculously happy and in love they looked, more than they ever would have if they stayed in Lima.

When he gets home and finds his little boy fast asleep on the couch, he'll take him in his arms and carry him up to his room. And when his son stirs awake for a little bit, he'll smile when the little tyke tells him that he wasn't falling asleep on the couch.

And then, when he comes back down and finds his lovely wife heating up some dinner for him, he'll smile and tell her all about these crazy girls that confused the hell out of him when he was a teenager. And he'll tell her about the sights he saw in New York and Kurt's fashion line and the plane ride back. And just as they're about to go to sleep, he'll pull her close and tell her how ridiculously happy and in love he is, and how glad he is that he stayed in Lima.


End file.
